Passion By Design

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Mastering the Art of Flirting

Married or not, it’s an enviable woman who has mastered the art of flirting. What feels more wonderful than to be flirted with, paid attention to, flattered, and admired? If you are married, your husband will be re-awakened to your intoxicating beauty. If you are single, flirting can be the first step to reconnecting with your sensuality and desirability.

Whether a woman is 19 or 90, it is her womanly right to flirt and be flirted with! When we fully explore the wellspring of flirting, life becomes richer, fuller, and doggonnit!… more fun!

Listen to one of our own Passion By Design stories…

Sandy was divorced after 25 years of marriage. It was a surprise to all who knew her, but Sandy was determined to enrich her life with new opportunities. She decided that being divorced and in your fifties is a chance to be young all over again!

Those years can be the teenage years of the rest of your life! She took a year to gather her life together, then set out on a journey to rediscover dating.

Sandy went to parties, gallery openings, concerts…all of the right places to meet new people. She wasn’t interested in getting right into another committed relationship, just casual dating. She missed the friendship she had with her husband, and looked forward to finding male friendship with others.

Weeks went by… noth­ing. Months went by…nothing. She finally asked her therapist for some sugges­tions. “Sandy,” she stated, “Your red stoplight has been turned on for twenty five years, it’s time to turn the green light back on!”

She was right! Many of us who have been in long-term relationships have forgotten what it’s like to flirt. As soon as we got married, we subconsciously turned on the red light. Somehow, we thought that flirting was reserved for the single woman. Not true! Flirting can be perfectly harmless, but oh so good for the self-esteem. Flirting with your spouse can re-ignite your marriage! We’re suggesting you turn the green light back on and start flirting!

Saying “I love you” can become boring and routine. Looking straight into the eyes of your man, and saying “I’m so in love with you” can evoke so much more passion.

Flirting can release pheromones that attract the opposite sex. A friend of ours recounts the story of Olivia, a woman well in her 70’s. When at social gatherings, men seemed to flock around Olivia as men did around Scarlett O’Hara in “Gone With the Wind.” Whether they were in their 30’s, 50’s, or 90’s, Olivia always had their attention. Our friend inquired of one of the gentlemen who knew her, “What is it about Olivia that men love?” The young man replied, “Ah…Olivia. Because when you talk to her, she makes you feel like you are the only man alive.”

“The most beautiful make-up on a woman is passion.” – Yves Saint-Laurent

Olivia mastered the art of flirting to its most charismatic level. When speaking with men, she looked them straight in the eye. When they were talking, she was mesmerized. She only asked questions when the pause in their speech indicated just the right time.

Neuro-linguistic specialists tell us even nodding the head or voicing a “Hmmm” or “uh huh” can interrupt a man’s train of thought! Again, the important thing is to stay focused and at attention…truly listen!

Mastering flirting is like a magician’s sleight of hand. It is imperceptible to others, but undeniable to those involved. It is eye contact held just a second longer…a smile which stays on the lips, just a second longer…a knowing touch that lingers, just a second longer.

There is tremendous power in a look or a brief gaze. A seemingly casual graze of a hand on his shoulder, or a glint of the eye divulging some secret amusement, something that only you know, but he is dying to learn, …these are the foundations of mastering the art of flirting. All that’s needed is a little practice!

Sandy Peckinpah and Paula McChesney are authors of a book, Passion By Design and host a radio show by the same name. Their topics offer information and insight on designing and living a life of romance, intention, and passion. Visit for information and listening to past radio shows (also can be heard on iTunes).

Sunday, May 1, 2011

The Fragrance of Romance

The fragrance of romance is in the air! With the arrival of Spring, our senses are dancing with joy. The senses help stimulate the right side of the brain and awaken passion! Our eyes take in the first buds of roses that are born from a winter sleep. Their fragrance opens the heart, according to Perfume Couturiere, Jane Hendler, owner of Ajne Parfumerie and Apothecary in Carmel, California.

As a recent guest on our radio program, Jane shared secrets to blends and potions that are "swoon-worthy." Did you know the scent of vanilla is 70 times more sexy than other fragrances? I don't know about you, but I headed straight for the Parfumerie and had a fragrance layered with vanilla designed for me! Perfume helps release the pheromones that cause desire!

Fragrances are a very personal choice. A knowledgeable perfume courturiere can help find and create the blend of scents that works with your body chemistry. Very important!

If you don't have such a trusted advisor, visit your local perfume counter and try three perhaps four fragrances at most. The nose is worn out and will tell you lies about what you're actually smelling. You may be able to coax a few free samples. A "test drive" is your best option. You'll know it's definitely right when people begin complimenting you on your lovely fragrance. Purchase the fragrance that titillates your brain chemistry...and hopefully his!

Include the complementary moisture lotion for layering the fragrance after a bath. Spray a cotton ball with the scent and tuck it into your bra. Spritz lightly in your hairline at the nape of your neck and on the wrists. Light is the key, here. You want the fragrance to follow you in the room, not lead the way and linger long after you've left!

For this and more information on fragrance, listen to Jane Hendler's Interview by clicking here: Passion By Design Radio

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Time to Look Like a Million Bucks!

It’s all about the fabulous you today! It's time to turn on the royalty in you and become the Queen of how you look.

Recently we interviewed Lauren Solomon of LS Image Associates who is dedicated to presenting you and your image professionally and personally. When you invest the time and energy to discover your unique personal style and show up as your personal best, you will live the life of your dreams! Paula and Sandy interview Lauren, revealing secrets to projecting the authentic "you in business, in love, and in life.

Lauren talks about the 5 F's: Fit, Flatter, Function, Feel, and Fabulous. She recommends going through your closet and analyzing your clothes with those five things in mind. Separate the ones that make you feel sexy, beautiful, and alive! Put them in a place all of their own. Now look at the rest of your closet. Absolutely toss the things that make you feel frumpy or old. Toss all clothes that haven't been worn in a year! Toss the things that don't feel comfortable. If you're not comfortable in an outfit, you won't feel good, or attractive!

Anything that reminds you of an unpleasant time or a color that looks dreary on you should definitely be given the heave ho. Be ruthless in letting go. Think of this pile of clothes as a gift to someone else. Take them to your local shelter…perhaps your makeover will also be a makeover for a woman beginning a new life!

Now you have room in your closet for new clothes that make you feel fabulous (and sexy!). The items you have remaining in your closet should now fit, flatter, be functional, feel good, and make you look fabulous. It's time to add a few pieces to make your wardrobe complete.

Start going through magazines to study what makes clothing appealing in today’s world. You’ll be surprised at how things have changed. Lauren says repeating your hair, skin, and eye color in clothing can be very dramatic. A little cleavage is being revealed even on the most popular female newscasters! It's important to be appropriate in the workplace, but never compromise maximizing the beautiful you. Start picturing yourself in break-out styles. Nothing too trendy, but timeless pieces that can be transformed from the work place to an evening at the theatre. Always, look dynamic at work. It reflects a confident, successful personae.

Have a date right after work? Remove the workplace blouse under your jacket, revealing a flirty sparkle chamisole top underneath. Wrap your bare neck in strands of pearls. Swipe on a bit of lipstick, and you're ready for a date with the man you love. Now, you look soft, sexy, and tastefully seductive. Let your jacket sit on the back of your chair (Bare shoulders are sensual) as you enjoy gaze into your lover's eyes.

At home you want to be soft and sensual for your sweetheart. Never, never put on sweats and torn tee shirts! Invest in comfortable lounge wear that is flattering and comfortable. Paula recommends buying a bathrobe in a soft pink or coral as it makes the skin look seductive and beautiful. She also recommends replacing robes every year...they get a lot of use!

Over the next several weeks, you will start buying clothes with new awareness! You are in the process of transformation revealing the new you. It's time to put together a wardrobe as dynamic as you want to be in the world. You’ll discover clothes will begin to reflect the happy, healthy, passionate YOU!

For other tips on designing the new amazing "you" wardrobe, listen to our interview with Lauren Solomon, image specialist, on Passion By Design radio.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Make the commitment, today, to lead your way onto the path of a Sexy Life. Dawn breaks. Open your eyes to your partner. Watch him sleeping. This is the man you love, tousled and deeply sleeping. He made a commitment to you that he would love you, honor you, cherish you. He was your knight and you were his lady. You were so attractive and desirable to him, he wanted you forever!

Think back to the first time you met. There was a spark that came through his eyes, and you felt aroused with burning desire! Kissing was heated and lustful. What’s changed? Every-day pressure? Children? Work? Too much television or Facebook?

It’s called the “ Flu of Life.” It’s toxic to relationships. It hits in a slow measured way. One day you wake up and you realize it’s been a month, perhaps two, since you’ve made love! What took it’s place? Anything of importance? Of course not, but it happens to all relationships at one time or another.

Because sex is the glue that holds a relationship intimately close, it’s important to remain consciously aware of your lover. You married a mate, a best friend, but you also married a “Lover,” meaning the partner you are with because you simply could not physically live without him. He chose to wake up to you every day! Today is the day you will make a new commitment to your “Lover.”

It’s morning, a few minutes before the alarm goes off. Now close your eyes and visualize the incredible passion of long ago. Picture it rekindling and awakening in your body, mind, and spirit. Reach for him and kiss him awake. Move your body close to his and feel his rhythm as he slowly responds to quickening desire. You’ve lit the fire…now move into the pleasure and bliss. This is the perfect way for two Lovers to begin the day.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Sexy Ways to a More Passionate Life

And they lived…happily ever after. We’ve heard or read those words over and over as children growing up with fairy tales describing love and romance. Usually there are two lovers overcoming huge adversity who go on to find the love that will give them the perfect life. Those are fairy tales, what about real life?

Think back when you first met the lover of your dreams. You had a burning desire to love and be loved. Your partner’s touch was all that was needed to send you over the moon with passion.

So, you’re in love, you feel desire and romance in your courtship, you marry, then what? The challenge in today’s world is to stay in love, feel desire, and live with romance throughout your lifetime.

Here’s the pertinent question: If there was a secret to staying in love, in sex, in romance, in happiness…forever after…would you like to know that secret? Of course! Well….that secret is creating and maintaining a sexy life. It is absolutely attainable and sustainable.

Expressing love is important to keeping the fires burning. It feels so good! A sexy life is more than just getting married or being in a relationship. A sexy life is about keeping those desires for your lover alive!

Being sexy is a decision…it’s as simple as that. Once you have made the decision, stick to it.

Through this continuing blog, you will find by implementing ideas from this blog, it will offer a more romantic and fulfilling life. It awakens passion! You will feel more desirable, happier, and sexy!

We look forward to sharing some great ideas with you and would love your feedback!!

Monday, February 7, 2011

6 Sexy Food Tips for Passion

6 Sexy Food Tips for Passion
Some foods are thought to enhance the libido, mood, or sexual experience...try these and see what you think!

1. Celery or Pineapple: These two foods are said to freshen your scent and taste.

2. Oysters: Oysters are the most well known of the aphrodisiac foods. The zinc in oysters is said to enhance the male libido, sperm and testosterone production.

3. Chili Peppers and Ginger: Both of these foods enhance blood flow which can increase your sexual pleasure.

4: Bananas: Have B vitamins which help regulate mood.

5. Spinach, Arugala, Kale: Leafy greens which are blood purifying and help remove toxins. This increases blood efficiency

6: Flax Seed, Olive Oil, Walnuts: All have Omegas which enhance overall mood and hormone balance.

Monday, January 31, 2011

PBD Radio - Jane Hendeler of Ajne Fragrances.

Custom Scents - Dreaming of a signature scent? Let it come true!

It was on Mt. Shasta that Jane Hendler shared with her husband her life's dream to create plant-derived fragrances, skin and body care so balanced and pure, they could have transformative effects upon the wearer. Thus, Jane and her husband planted an organic farm and opened the doors of Ajne in Carmel, California where they share their passion for pure and precious organic ingredients. They believe every product must be as unique as the person who wears it. As such, they craft sophisticated, intoxicating blends that meld with the body's chemistry to the benefit of the wearer and the planet.